The Stripping Away

#31Days Day 2-  praying for my enemy... abundant life

Kicking and screaming...

That's the best way to describe my attitude toward this endeavor.  I woke up this morning with a dread... so sorry I had committed to doing this.  Every time i began to attempt a prayer, the pain began to well up inside me and bubble over into anger.

I couldn't even wrap my mind around WHAT I should pray... my mouth wouldn't form a single word.

As I stood in the shower, let the warm water run down, I began to recount the losses, the lies, the grief, and one phrase repeated itself again and again in my mind -

over the last 10 months there has been a slow 

stripping away of everything 

we have known

all that is familiar, comfortable, safe, has been stripped

leaving only the arms of Jesus and the Truth of His Words 

as a source of comfort, protection, healing.

There truly is only Him

As I have said, forgiveness has always come easily for me.  

But never before have I had to face forgiveness while looking 

in the eyes of my sweet girl - seeing the stripping away she is feeling, experiencing, grieving every day.  

Eight years old is too young to be stripped so deep.

So, what to pray...

What is the opposite of our experience right now?

Abundant Life.

I know He is asking me to pray over our enemy words of abundant life.

I would like to be able to tell you that I have been able to offer up this life-giving request- that I have submitted to the authority and urging of the Spirit and fallen on my knees in prayer for those that have hurt us.  But that would be a lie. 

I know my relationship with the Lord and my witness of His Son, requires me to forgive.  Who am I to hold anything against another.

Dear friends, I covet your prayers, your encouragement, your words of wisdom.

Father, I know the stripping is necessary.  I know this work will not return void.  Please help this stubborn girl surrender to Your truth, and lean into forgiveness.